Sorry for the outburst of pain and confusion. I had just woken up and realized what had happened to me. I remembered that post from DS about Michael and got it in my head that Michael was DS or DS was Michael. He seemed to know so much about me. It was cool until things took a turn. A terrible turn. I was so upset, hysterical. I had that song playing in my head, a song Michael had played when we first were going out. You know they say the devil has a tell, well that was his. I should have known when I heard that song and saw the smile in his eyes. I am home from the hospital and the police have finished their piece of all this. I am somewhat sedated and past tired, but sleep is no more my friend than it ever was. Michael is gone and they don't seem too sure about finding him. I was not his first. I hope I will at least be the last. I know when these drugs wear off I am going to be a lot less calm. I still have that voice inside me that posted the last post. It gets louder at night. I did not fuck anyone. I was raped. It was a horrible nightmare. I am going to take this stuff and go sleep. Don't worry I won't kill myself, I tried, I was too scared. Maybe one day I will get the nerve. I can only hope. The funny part is he waited until I actually was thinking I might really want to be with him and then he called me a whore and tore my world to shreds. Funny in a so painful it hurts kind of way.
