it is funny the reason I was wandering around and ended up at the library is my therapist had to cancel our appointment because she had a client who was suicidal and the family was freaking out and it was this huge drama and I felt so sane walking out of there not needing her like that and it was like getting a pass out of detention or something. 

Geez DS I am not that spacey. I would never go back to that crack pot. I know it took me a while, but I finally realized how nuts he was. The worse part was he actually helped me for a long time. That is why it took so long to see what he was doing. I know he was all about keeping me sick and making me sicker. I would never go back to that. No I met this woman in my yoga class and she was really nice and laid back. I found out later that she was a therapist and on a whim went to see her and really like her a lot. I know I have the answer and the key like you say, but sometimes it helps to get some other perspective. I think you would like her and her philosophy. I think seeing her has been what helped me be in a place that I could step out of my shell and go on a date and just open up more. What is the harm in that? I am working on trusting my own self and my own answers, and I feel like I am supposed to be here right now. It is so relaxed and not heavy and I don't feel crazy talking to her. I feel saner talking to her than I have in a long time.

Miles you can call me now. For a reading (not a phone sex fuck) and X I will do a group one and see what happens. So you know I have not slept with Michael. I have not slept with anyone. I don't even know if I can. Sex used to feel like dying. I will know it is the right time and the right guy when thinking about it does not make me want cry fake suicide.